Dude, Where's My Dignity?
by razmatazz3000
Summary: To have your clothes disappearing while you're in the showers is only funny when it's not happening to you. TNA fic.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters mentioned in this story.

**Author's Notes:  
**Some silly stuff I decided to write. It doesn't really make sense. My stories only make sense when they're written after midnight, lulz.

* * *

**Dude, Where's My Dignity?**

"Mrs. Angle!"

Karen turned her head back to look at the young camera crew approaching her. "Yeah?"

"Um, I don't mean to be rude or anything, but…" he spoke softly, a trace of hesitation etched onto his face. "I think somebody is looking for you."

She frowned. "What do you…?"

Before she could finish her sentence, however, a loud cry of "ANGLE!" had interrupted her train of thought. Raising an eyebrow, she shot a questioning look at the camera crew, who in turn shrugged and walked away. Karen stood around with her arms crossed.

"_ANGLE!" _Another deafening scream was heard, and Karen walked closer to the source of the voice. She found herself in front of the door to the men's showers. Blinking, she debated whether to enter the room or leave.

Sighing to herself, she pushed the door open.

"Is that you, Kurt? I'm so gonna kill you when I get out!" A voice came from one of the shower stalls. Karen was not happy at all. Lately, it seems as though her husband made new enemies on a daily basis.

"It's me," she stated, walking close to the door and wondering who it was on the other side.

"Beelzebub?" Christian's head popped up. He had hopped on top of the stall door, hanging by his arms, and Karen could see that he had just taken a shower, judging from his damp skin. He was looking exceptionally angry. "Where the hell is that stupid freak you call your husband?"

"He went home."

Christian's expression changed in an instant. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE WENT HOME?"

"He went home, duh," Karen frowned. "What are you so worked up about? Your match isn't until next week!"

"Oh, I dunno, maybe because he took my fucking clothes!"

"He took your clothes?"

"He took my clothes!"

"…Really," she said cynically.

He gestured to his wet, bare shoulders. "Look at me! I'm being serious here!"

"Well, how can you be so sure that Kurt took them?" Karen challenged. "Maybe it was AJ or Tomko?"

"It was him!" Christian exclaimed. "Just before I finished up, I saw his ugly mug leaving this room with a pile in his hands! Then, when I got out of the shower, my clothes are gone! He even took my towel and my bag!"

"Uh huh."

"How am I supposed to get to my car, huh?" Christian demanded. "It's freezing outside! People will look at me all weird!"

"No shit."

"Oh, be useful for once!" He scowled. "Find me some clothes."

"Why the hell would I do that? Besides, the locker rooms are all locked up now," she laughed. "Sucks to be you."

Christian did not look pleased. He made a vague effeminate gesture with his hands. "Can't you stop being such a bitch for a while and cut me some slack? I'm naked here! I don't like to be naked for no reason!"

She sighed. "Look, as much as I want to help you and all, there's really nothing I can do."

"Give me your panties."

"What?"

"Your panties."

"Hell no!"

"Why not?"

"Wha… Are you serious?" Karen's eyes were wide with amusement. "You can't possibly walk around in my G-string and think that your stupid problems are solved!"

"Well, I guess you're right. It won't provide enough coverage," Christian nodded, smiling narcissistically. "I am, after all, very well endowed."

Just as he said that, the door flew open. There stood Matt Morgan.

"What is going on here?" He bellowed. Looking skeptically at Karen, he continued, "…And what're you doing in the men's shower room?"

"Matt, give me your clothes," Christian commanded.

"What?" He looked at the expensive Armani suit he was wearing. "I don't think so."

"C'mon, we'll do a trade. You give me your clothes and I'll reward you with something really awesome."

"Like what?"

Christian was silent, and it was apparent that he did not think about it sooner.

"I could hook you up with Kong," Karen offered after a few seconds.

"But I don't want to hook up with Kong!" Matt said unhappily.

Christian snapped his fingers. "I shall show you my pee-pee!"

"That's disgusting! I don't want to see your pee-pee!"

"You should. He says it's very impressive," Karen said, her voice monotone. "I'm gonna leave now before I make myself stupider by being around you people."

"Chicks," Christian commented, watching Karen leave the room. "So yeah, your clothes."

"No."

"Well, give me your underwear," he requested.

Matt paused. "I'm gonna pretend that I didn't hear that."

"Come on! Help a guy out!" Christian insisted. "I need to get home, man, and the locker rooms are closed so I can't steal other people's clothes!"

"Well, if it helps, Jay left his tights in the café."


End file.
